(Source: matchly)
Curiosity flrblrgrlblflrbl’d the cat.
^Oh my god, that caption^
This would not be HALF as funny without that caption omg
do you notice that there is someone in the bathtub
(Source: finalellipsis)
I don’t think he knows what he’s doing..
he’s just very passionate about flossing
with giant phantom dicks
hold on, lemme just grab this FUCKING BASEBALL FLYING AT YOUR HEAD AT 100 MPH for a second
he got his dick sucked after the interview
A gorilla, and a human baby reacting to the coldness of the stethoscope exactly the same way.
If i shot the monkey in the head, and then i shot the baby in the head would they act the same way? Yes. Yes it would.
it’s like a rap battle
“nah rommy you need to get your facts straight, you need to go back in time and tell yo daddy to get a castrate. i’m barry O and im sick on this mic device, bout to be the only nigga runnin the free world twice.”
“yo it’s Mitt on the mic and i’m feelin hella wild, i’m gonna fuck all you bitches and not let you abort the child. you want free healthcare? go to Canada bitch, and bring your women and minorities too cause i dont give a shiiiitttt.”
laughing too hard for my own good
(Source: gifwich)
Wilder was initially hesitant, but finally accepted the role under one condition:
When I make my first entrance, I’d like to come out of the door carrying a cane and then walk toward the crowd with a limp. After the crowd sees Willy Wonka is a cripple, they all whisper to themselves and then become deathly quiet. As I walk toward them, my cane sinks into one of the cobblestones I’m walking on and stands straight up, by itself… but I keep on walking, until I realize that I no longer have my cane. I start to fall forward, and just before I hit the ground, I do a beautiful forward somersault and bounce back up, to great applause.
When Stuart asked why, Wilder replied, “because from that time on, no one will know if I’m lying or telling the truth.”
(Source: thepriest)
